Global Networking

This weekend I attended my second ever conference. The title was ‘Contesting Creativity 1740-1830.’ So this time it was really and not only vaguely connected with my subject area, Romanticism. I presented a paper with the title ‘The Last Man: Society, Solitude and Creativity.’ It went quite well, although I was really tired, as the night before some very rude people were shouting at each other in front of our hotel and keeping me and probably the rest of the street awake. I was although very nervous- I always am- and accordingly stuttering my way through it. The questions I got asked where all right, except for one, which I should have expected but didn’t, and this one was gender related. I don’t know why, but I seem to be developing an aversion to gender studies. So I just answered that I try to avoid gender and to my surprise, they liked that

In total this conference had two effects on me: on the one hand it was absolutely inspiring and made me want to know more and more. On the other hand I was quite overwhelmed by all the ‘grown-ups’ and important people. It made me feel really small and rather insignificant. And I was again painfully aware that my English is not as good as I’d wish it to be.

That I am either working or studying all the time does not seem to help either, as networking is quite an important part of conferences, and I do, as a consequence of the above, not really know any more how to socialize properly. This really makes my life sound dreadfully sad.

But knowing myself this kind of depressing mood will not last too long and once it is put aside I will just get back to normal and try to do the best I can. I think this is all I can really hope for, as there is really no point in setting oneself goals that are totally unachievable.

One curiosity of the conference I would like to share: I was in a panel with a fully grown US Colonel who is deputy head of department of the School of English (if I remember correctly) in West Point. After the papers he told me that he really enjoyed my paper. I thought that was rather impressive. More positive criticism included that the paper is ahead of the stage I am actually at. So maybe it just feels as if I still knew nothing but in reality I do know at least a little something…

What was probably the best thing about the week end, was that it was an opportunity to spend some time with an old friend and that we went to a mill shop and excessively shopped for yarns.

Happy Studying…

… is not exactly what I am doing at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy studying. In fact when I have a whole day of work I am thrilled and excited because that’s a whole day I can spend with my books. And surprise, surprise I can get so much done in a whole day. The thing is just, the last time I had a full day off is…well I cannot even remember how long ago. Work is not bad either. I enjoy it more and more and am quite an accepted part of the team, you know one you can joke with and all. So that is fine and fun as well. I just wish I had more time for studying. And I am not even under too much pressure with part-time studying and all. But I would prefer if I’d be able to see more progress. Of course, my review was fine, and that consoled me for a while. But now I am back to…’you are never going to get anywhere.’

Which, of course is not entirely true. My next paper to be presented at a conference is coming up next week and it is all ready and I am very excited about it. I think two papers in one year at two international conferences are not too bad. So this is at least something. And I am also going to get to spend some time with a friend from St. Andrews whom I have not seen for a while and who is going to be at the conference as well. So I guess we’ll have a great time. And we even planned to visit a wool factory. Both of us are enthusiastic knitters, so that is going to be great!

I hope reading this did not depress you all. You know that deap in my heart I am an optimist and I am sure that all will be fine again shortly. So keep it up and enjoy reading my blog!

Annual Progress Review

For me this was a very busy week. I was working for 6 days straight- which I find very tiresome- and I had my first annual progress review. This proved less spectacular than I thought it would be. It really just meant that my supervisors found another member of staff who had to read what I had written so far. Then we all met, my supervisors took notes, the third person talked most of the time and evaluated my work. I was asked very few questions and it was all rather informal. The essence of criticism was that my chapter was “a solid piece of work” (as long as that does not mean you could kill somebody with it I am quite happy) which showed a “thorough understanding” of the text I was dealing with (Mary Shelley’s The Last Man). The third person gave me some useful hints as to formalities and proposed some additional reading material. After 45 minutes we all filled in and signed a formwhich has to be passed on to the faculty and that was pretty much it.

Now I am officially a continuing student of the University which is rather important, as I tried to book some IT courses earlier, which I was denied, as I could not be found in the University database, as I was not yet approved by the faculty as I hadn’t had my review yet. Funny enough, that did not keep the University from clearing my fee cheque But well, I guess that’s what you call bureaucracy!

I have also finished reading the novel about which I intend to write my next chapter- The Fortunes of Perkin Warbeck- and started reading secondary literature on that subject. This should not take too long, as I could only find 10 articles on it. I found the novel rather exciting, so I am naturally looking forward to digging in my teeth a little deeper.. I’d also like to find out about the historical background. This week I intend to finish the chapter layout and then I’ll see where it goes.

Apart from that I have a busy time ahead of me. The next conference is coming up and I have to give that paper some extra attention next week. It is complete but you know how you always find something to change.

Privately, life is not that exciting. I had to see the dentist twice. I get tired a lot again, as the days get shorter again. But all is well.

Ben starts his new job today and we are really excited about that. And Maya had her first vaccination. She was so tough, she didn’t even hiss or miaou when she got the injection. In three weeks time she will get a booster and then she will finally be ready to leave the house and go exploring outside. I think I will be more afraid then than her. But time will tell.

A propos time. It really is flying these days. I cannot believe that it is September already! Summer is almost gone (well, what we call summer) and it is only one month now, before my second year officially starts!